US Open of Surfing: The Big Thing No Girl Knows

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IVE FIGURED OUT THE TRICK TO THE US OPEN.

See, I wore a crochet purple one piece and a floppy sunhat to just keep to myself and not be hit on. Every other girl there is pretty much whoring themselves out, writing obscene sayings on their skin in an effort to attract guys. In actuality, I got much more positive feedback in my outfit! So many people said they loved my hat and swimsuit (which I hilariously snagged from the clearance rack of Walmart, believe it or not) But that's not what I'm saying. So (my best friend) and I spent the day admiring all the foreign pro surfers from afar on the shore. We commented on how a French surfer would be the best, most attractive mix of a male ever, but never, ever thought we’d even get close to those hyped, interviewed boys out in the waves.

Because we were so classy and uninterested in “free sex” (girls definitely wrote this on themselves), we ended up befriending two irish super attractive guys and two PROFESSIONAL 18 YEAR OLD FRENCH SURFERS. say whaaaa??? The two Irish boys, 21 years old casually walked by and said that we looked beautiful, in those sexy foreign accents. I called them over to ask where they were from and from then on out it was an amazing conversation of two countries meeting!

The French surfers were awesome. They spoke like three words of English, yet managed to get across what they were trying to say perfectly. I definitely feel like because I was so casual and uninterested in his nuts, he actually really liked me as a person to talk to. Seeming as though 90% of the female population at the Open were eager to jump on anything with a french accent, I’m sure he was relieved to have a decent convo with a california girl. They walked with us more than half way to our car, then we parted ways (only after he asked us what we were doing that night… He knew how to say that one!!!).

So the moral of the story is you don’t have to whore yourself out. Snapbacks on girls are fugly, thong bikinis are strictly for the Bahamas only, and if your hair is hairspray curled at the beach, well, you should just go home. In a sea of sluts, you are far more attractive if you’re yourself πŸ™‚ that’s what attracts the coolest friends, and the best stories.
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These girls definitely should not be wearing those swimsuits

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