Why your High School Relationship Won’t Last
I can’t tell you how many times I hear the myth that high school relationships never last. First off, that’s totally false. The truth is that plenty fail, and for good and logical reasons. But, it is possible. You just have to want it, and your partner does too. The main killer of your relationship is just simply that rarely does anyone ever discuss their future. When you’re in High school, a relationship is often just temporary. I know, I’ve just graduated from it! So you can’t tell me I’m wrong, because when I looked around on campus I could completely point out who’s just fucking each other and holding hands, and who actually is in love. The two things you absolutely need to survive the test of time is ambition and love.
Without further ado, here’s why your relationship won’t last.
Unless you met from church, or you both have strong connections to a religion, you probably haven’t spent much time discussing your beliefs. Of course, it’s no big deal in high school. But when you’re 28 and living together and you’ve had a kid and your kid needs to be baptized or started in church, what’s going to happen when you want your kid to be raised catholic and your wife or husband is Christian, or agnostic?? A big argument is going to go down. It may seem weird, but set your rules early, like, when you’re 18. When you talk about things way before they happen, you’re way less likely to start a huge argument when the time actually comes and you have to compromise then and there. My boyfriend and I are luckily both catholic, yet don’t go to church every Sunday. We don’t always talk about church, but we both know what we believe in, and when we’re older well know where we both stand.
In order to make a relationship last, you have to not only look at your boyfriend/girlfriend as just that, but also as your best friend, and your partner through everything. Can you lay in bed all day with him, watching tv? Do you and him have a ton of inside jokes? Do you fight about stupid little things that don’t matter? You need to have a friendship bond with each other, in order to live together. Think about living with your best friend. Could you do that?
Privacy and Letting Go
Without this one, you’re never going to get anywhere. Basically, if you can go to his house with no makeup on and he still calls you beautiful, and he means it, you’ve got a good one. If at one point in your life you’ve seen him pee with the door open. That’s love right there. When you live with someone, you’re guaranteed to see the absolute lowest of the low with the person. If you’re not sure you’ve seen that in your partner yet, you better see it before you move in together. Also, if you not confident pushing a baby out in front of his face, he’s not for you.
This is self explanatory, but think of this, if your relationship did not allow you to so as go any further than a kiss with your partner, would you still be happy. If you even had to consider the losses on that question, you’re probably going to break up in the future. You may think “oh my gosh! Moving in is gonna be so awesome!! We’re gonna just love each other all day!” well you’re in for a rude awakening. In fact, try imagining no sexual things for a month, or even more. Have you been able to go a month without realizing you haven’t done anything, and you were still happy all of that month? I’m pretty sure it’s happened about 3 times where my boyfriend and I have realized its been a month or so and we haven’t even made out, and we laugh about it. Now that’s love right there.
You don’t have to necessarily agree on politics, but if your partner Is a crazy republican and talks about it all the time, while you’re a liberal democrat, things could get heated. If you disagree on something big, and you find yourselves arguing about it, my best advice to you is to just shut up. Rant your feelings in a blog or comment on some political article online. Pretty much, your wife or husbands opinion isn’t going to change the worlds outcome, so if he or she wants to legalize gay marriage and that’s what shes voting for, you don’t have a right to argue against her, plus, if you do, get ready for a few nights of sleeping on the couch. People feel strongly on their beliefs, so just know that if you don’t agree, you better shut up.
This is what everyone says kills a relationship. “you’re not the same person at 25 that you were at 15!”. I think behind this, all it means is exactly what this blog post is about. Of course most people aren’t the same people at 25, because they’ve matured, in the way that they actually care now about politics and religion and how to raise their kid and how they’ll make money. So let’s just kill this stupid saying right now. What it means is that at 15, 16 and 17 most kids are worrying about how they’ll save up enough money for a new Xbox, not where they want to live at 30 and where they’ll send their future kids to school. So if you just take maybe one day at least to just casually ask some of these questions to your partner, it would clear up all the craziness when you turn 23 and you realize you and your partner have no future goals in common whatsoever.
Things could get really awkward when you get an internship in New York for your dream company, and your partner is like, hell no! I like California! I like Ohio! What’s gonna happen? Talk about this! If you get a job offering that’s really good but it’s in another state, will your partner go to? This is another big killer in your relationship. Say your husband wants to be some entrepreneur. That’s a huge risk, and most fail. Is he strong enough to make it to the top? Or will you be living off of your paycheck for ever just because he wants to keep his eight year old dream of being a rockstar.
You need to know how many kids each of you want, and compromise on that. If you want five and he wants one, that’s a problem. Also, you need to be honest and think about how much money you’ll be making to support kids. Can you see your partner raising a kid? Is he good with children? Drop some hints! You don’t have to actually be having a kid to know where each other stands, plus, it’s better to set goals such as “no having kids until were stable and have a house”, because knowing you and your partner have a mutual agreement and goal will at least help stop unwanted pregnancy. My best advice? Watch “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” with him. You’ll see how he reacts to being a dad.
In conclusion, don’t think your relationship can’t last. If you and your partner are mature enough to talk about your future together, and where you see each other in 10 years, 20 years and 70, you’ve got the same good chance as any other mature, 20 something year old couple. Some people are also just more mature and driven at a young age. If this isn’t you, and you’re just looking to have fun and hop around, that’s totally cool. You shouldn’t be in any rush to get married at 16. But if you say you love someone, and you want to be with them forever, know who they’re going to be forever. Actually know what they want in every single aspect of their life. What cars do they love? What college do they want to go to? What do they want to study? When do they want to retire?? It may seem crazy asking these questions, but if you can’t have plenty of mature conversations with your partner on these things, they’re not for you. Good luck to all of you!